God is Good! 11/26/08

When I first became a Christian as a child I really didn't understand everything that loving and serving our Lord Jesus Christ meant. As I have grown up and become an adult I understand it much more. Christ has to be the most important person in my life. If I put Him first in all that I do then everything else that matters will fall into place as He has ordained. Now I don't always put Him first, but this is an area that I am trying to correct in my life. My priorities up until very recently were all screwed up and Jesus was not first.

I can say that God has always been with me even though I am not always as faithful as I should be. So many times He has picked me up and brought me through a situation that I couldn't have gotten out of by myself. One of those times was this past weekend.

I have been going through fertility treatments for the last 5 months and as of yet we have not been able to get pregnant. My heart broke into so many pieces this past weekend when for the 5th time in a row the test came back negative. Oh how I cried. I was so crushed that I wanted to be around no-one and yet I had a women's function for church to go to. I did ok with it for a while, every now and then started to tear up though. I have said more times than I can count that God would bless us with a child in His time...I know that this is true, however my patience is really running low and it hurts so much each month that goes by and we find out again that we are not pregnant. It hurts me when I find out someone around me is pregnant. Why God, is this happening again?? Yes I know that there are thousands of children that need good homes and that adoption is always a possibility. I just want to have 1, just 1 child of my own. If God feels as if I can handle more then that is fine - I would love to have twins!

Anyways, through all that I have been through the last 2 years with illness and major physical pain from my tailbone and lower back, God has ALWAYS remained FAITHFUL! How can I not love and trust God?

First Blog 11/26/08

Well, this is my first blog. Never done this before, but I figure it is an easy way for friends and family alike to keep up with what is going on in our lives here in Boise, ID.

Tonight I am not able to sleep, even though I took all my pills at 8pm. Instead I am wide awake writing this at 11pm.

It is hard to believe that we will not be spending Thanksgiving with our families for the 4th year in a row. I miss our family more so at the holiday time each year as well as some of our best friends in Phoenix. Maybe we can convince them to come next year. We will be spending our first Thanksgiving together since Chuck is no longer at the nursing home. I have spent the last 2 years going to Pastor Rich & Donna’s home. They are our surrogate family. I love them so. I know that God has blessed our lives tremendously by having them in our lives.

I am looking forward to this weekend when i get to pull out all the Christmas decorations and decorate both our home and the office. I will also probably do a little shopping on Friday, but there is no way I am getting up before 7 am since my shopping is pretty much done! Now I just have to wrap it and send it out of state -yuck!